Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Girls & Trees

This past week has probably weilded more odd moments from me then the entire past year.
I can blame this primarily on the hormones coursing throughout my body, but also on the fact that it's June and June was our month.
Friday, I found myself in a darkened store with Madie (my cat) to keep me company, while the tornado sirens (located conviently and directly behind our store) attempted to both warn and deafen us. I was fine. I was alone and slightly freaked out, but I was fine.
I was fine the entire drive home, through the makeshift four-way stops and branch covered streets, I was happy almost. Natural disasters have a way of unifying us, don't they?
I was fine, up until the point where I turned into my driveway and found our tree split in half. Partly standing, partly dead.
And then came the tears. Tears that I can't give a name to, can't find something for them to stand for.

Except possibly, that I am a mess. A wreck of a girl who has nothing to say and everything to hide from. If I sit here and think, I'm sure I could create symbolism between me and that tree..But that would be something to say. And I'm content for the moment on being my own natural disaster.

Monday, June 15, 2009

I have retreated. I live a life of routine. For 8 hours, I am forced to resurface into the world, within the walls of a health-crazed dog store.

This week, I decided to reread the Harry Potter series. Probably not a wise choice, if I was planning to actually live this week.

Perhaps I should backtrack. I haven't always been this way. Just 2 weeks ago, I was driving up the east coast, stopping everywhere and anywhere along the way. We helped move some Yale kids out of their dorm, we walked purposefully and fast through Manhattan (we were very untouristy...focused more on becoming New Yorkers for the day). This accounts for why there are no pictures of NY. We splurged on an actuall place to stay in Maine, choosing a nice (and expensive) Inn, equipped with hard wood floors (my favorite) and a jacuzzi placed perfectly before the TV set..We decided that we would wear our bathingsuits when using it, but that quickly went out the window. I learned how not to notice things from the corner of my eye.

But see? I used to be alive. I didn't always exist soley through my mind and the pages before me.