Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Fires and Songs

The beginning is what scares me; Where thoughts somehow transit back to your perfect stranger as if addicted, as if every second lived was about a fix, a single moment of ecstasy.
Together, he and she are electric, effusive, and emitting flames. His stare can burn, her heart can glow, but that passionate fire is going to be tamed, if not by time, then by the rain.

It's this infatuation that scares me. Or maybe it's the days that come after. To truly love another person for everything he or she believes, acts and is--that I can honestly say, will take more than me. It will take God. It will take us both individually seeking His face, His guidance, and His (not the world's) way of Love.

It's this that scares me. Because I am determined to have that; To be completely one with my husband in the purest form possible... and yet, I am dancing with you.
You, who listens to another song, who sings to different lyrics and sways to a worldly beat.
You, who despite this, despite advice, I can't seem to leave. So I continue to pray that maybe, just maybe you'll hear His song, and you'll search for the only words worth listening to.

If I end up scorched, then so be it. It's not the tragedy in this story.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

I wish I could make an audio title; Today's would be a growl.

I deleted my Facebook for this very reason. And yet, here I am, not studying, not posting on a graded discussion board, not working on everything that I had planned to be doing. My "buckle-down" day, major fail.

Hold your judgment.
I am not being lazy.
I just CAN'T think.Or can't stop thinking?
Really, I just can't choose my thoughts and who or what they land on.

If I turned around, or decided to go a different way, I'm fairly certain Concentration would return to me. But despite the advice of others, I am grounded. Heart to the pavement, stuck.

I did try.

I have landed on one entry every time I opened my Bible this week:

In God I trust; I am not afraid;What can man do to me?
Psalm 56:11

In addition to that, it was also the verse of the day a few days ago.


3 assignments left. 1 hour. I can do this.

Friday, March 12, 2010

We should be mermaids by now

...that was always our plan.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Bits & Pieces

Blogs have always interested me. Namely, because the majority of the ones I read are journals, diaries if you will; they're the personal moments of everyday people; the thoughts,perceptions,and struggles of someone who's simply striving to get through life--with a purpose.

There's an underlying art to blogging, and it has nothing to do with poetic musings. It's a matter of sly perspicacity.

There's things we leave out, things that if written publicly could be more akin to gossip, or
merely hurtful--because so rarely are the trials and obstacles of life completely caused, suffered, or learned alone.

So if I don't mention the girl who bruised me; the boy who scarred me; the shot that damaged me. all that's left is the heartache and lessons. That's what I write, a half of the story, a sliver of me.