Thursday, September 24, 2009

Insights into the Average Girl

I want to say it all..

Do you know how hard it is to write honestly when the person you're dating reads your journal? It's an interesting conquest. Every word in the sentence is a piece of you and every piece of you is a potential part he could reject. And rejection scares the hell out of me.

It's part of the reason, I am Mysterious is how Garth(an old one-fail date) put it, but I call it guarded. I think I've accomplished a lot though for 2 months, I think we're on the right path.

Paths, by the way, also scare me..(Let me just devote this entire entry to my list of fears..)
Want to know the path I want (not necessarily on)?..Well, I'll share my dream path-- if all I'm considering is me, because to put down a path that includes someone else, I may freak a few people out, because after all, it has only been two months. RambleRambleRambleAnyways.

I want to work for a publishing company. Random House for instance. I want to edit and play with words. I want to discover beautiful stories and share them with the world. I want a family of people who love books and who love each other. I want to live in Connecticut. Or Maryland. Or Massachusetts. Or Virgina, or even North Carolina. And I want to write a book. I have my snippets picked out...or handed to me really..I'm just missing the plot..heh.
Know what my major is? I bet you don't, because my Facebook lies. English:Creative Writing. Minor:Journalism-Public Relations

Want to know when I graduate: There's no telling. Not on time, that's for sure...But I'm content with this. I have other tasks to attend to.

Like learning how to love someone more then myself.
Like saving for an internship that's going to take me into the business bustle of New York for ten weeks.
Like learning how to sew, so I can finally stop searching stores for the designs in my head.
Like singing & playing one song in front of a crowd, just to prove I can.
Like getting to know my Savior, my Father, and my only hope in making it anywhere at all.

I wanted to tell it all, but I'm not so sure I'm ready for the world to see my downfall.

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